Present a written argument or case to an educated reader with no specialist knowledge of the
Popular events like the football World Cup and other international sporting occasions are essential in easing international tensions and releasing patriotic emotions in a safe way.
To what extent do you agree or disagree with this opinion? You should use your own ideas, knowledge and experience and support your arguments with examples and relevant evidence.
You should write at least 250 words.
This is an answer written by a candidate who achieved a Band 4 score. Here is the examiner’s comment:
The majority of this answer has no relation to the task set: the first half is completely irrelevant and the second part is only marginally related to the topic. The candidate has therefore been penalised for this. There is little meaningful message, and grammatical control is weak.
Nowadays, football is the most popular game in the world. We can find there are many different teams who plays this football. There are dividing into 3 division: division one, division two and division three. Each divisions have different skills. The skills that they have are depend on the manager. He is the one who teachs the player how to play. By playing football, there are many advantages and disadvantages. Firstly, the team can earn a lot. If we compare the income in division one and division two are really different. The division one will get more than division two. Because as we know, the team in division one, they shows to the people that they are able to play better than the others. For example: David Beckham (the player of Manchaster United). He can earn for about £45.000 £50.000/week. It’s unbelievable. Even the prime minister in the UK just got for about£11O.OOO/year. Secondly, they can get a lot of spectators which makes the income increased. In one match, they can earn for about 20 or 30 million pounds. Actually, it’s really high. For one ticket (VIP) it can cost us a lot of money. I think for about £100 or over. That is for one person. How if we count for a million person? There are also many disadvantages: like from the task which says that the releasing patriotic emotions in a safe way. Actually, I don’t really agree about that: like 2 weeks or 3 weeks ago, there are 2 fans of Leeds United got shots. And it makes them died. Many people come and give them flowers and also the clothes which shown they’re sad about that.
There are other sport games like tennis. Tennis is also popular. In playing tennis there are also have advantages and disadvantages. This games shows how they against each other. The advantages are can earn a lot of money, can attract the spectators (audience). There are also have disadvantages of this games, for example: two years ago, when
Monica Sales and Steffi Graph are on the match. They play against each other then, one of the Steffi’s fan can’t stand anymore, he killed (shots) Monica Sales. That makes Monica Sales have to stop the game. The people are all thinking to take her to the hospital. Because of that, it makes Monica Sales stopped from playing tennis for about a year. But
now, she has started again.
In my opinion, these sport can ease the international tensions and also can makedeath from year to year become increase. So, it is very dangerous.
Source: Cambridge IELTS 3