Band Score 7 Academic Writing Task 1 with Explanation

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You should spend about 20 minutes on this task.

The graph below shows the unemployment rates in the US and Japan between March 1993
and March 1999. Write a report for a university lecturer describing the information shown below. You should write at least 150 words.

Unemployment in the US and Japan - 1993 & 1999


This is an answer written by a candidate who achieved a Band 7 score. Here is the examiner’s comment: This is a good account of the information presented in the graph, although occasionally the organisation of the data is slightly unusual. The writer grasps all the key points, however, and supports these with figures, before providing a summary of the main points. Sentence structures are more than adequate, although the writer has some problems with the use of tenses and prepositions. There are minor examples of unsuitable register (e.g. ‘turned out’, ‘disastrous’, and one contracted verb form), but as there are only a few instances of this, the candidate has not been penalised.

According to the results of the labour-force research published recently, the following conclusions can be drawn from it:

In March, 1993, United States had seven percent of their workforce which might not seem disastrous until compared with Japan, where 2.5% were unemployed. However, the unemployment rate in United States began declining slowly since March 1993, and reached 5% mark in the middle of 1996. Japan turned out to be less lucky, as their unemployment rate doubled in three years. From then on. the percentage of unemployed workforce in United States remained roughly the same — about 5% until March 99, although there were minor falls and rises in the unemployment rate.

As for Japan, the percentage of unemployed fell rapidly by 0.5—0.6% after March 1996, but from summer 1996 and onwards it grew steadily and without any falls to reach 5.0% boundary in March 1999.

The major conclusion that I’ve drawn using the graph, is that number of unemployed in USA decreased by about 2.0% in the course of six years, while in Japan it actually increased by 2.5% percent. As a result, in March 99, both Japan and US had about 5% of their work force unemployed.


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July 27, 2021

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